Have you ever found ourself in long periods of depression where you question your reality, your upbringing, your purpose in this life, your values and everything in between?
Do you sometimes wake up, look around you, and realize everything is just a game, a lie or just a false reality?
Do you find yourself losing interest in what used to fascinate you and find yourself becoming separated from certain people?
This isn’t a personality disorder or mental illness prescribed by your doctor; this is a process of awakening called the dark night of the soul.
Our awakening is a constant journey. It’s an ebb and flow of processing the shadow and light aspects of ourselves and it’s a shedding of our ego.
I’d like to take this moment to remind you that you are soul being having a human experience, and your soul chose YOUR specific body in THIS specific lifetime to experience everything this lifetime has to offer. This is a magical yet confusing concept for many of us to grasp.
When we entered this body at birth, we were also given an Ego – a part of ourselves that keeps us in check in the 3D realm. Our Ego is connected to the mind-body which means this is the part of us that is rational, overthinks and likes to tell us what we are worthy and not worthy of – depending on our upbringing.
I fully believe a huge part of our mission on this Earth is to honour the Souls purpose of choosing our bodies to be alive in. We can honour the Soul by following our hearts, our intuition, living in joy and abundance and treating our physical body with love, respect and dignity.
When we don’t honour the Soul, it begins to cry. It cries because it is not being heard. It cries because it chose your body and is not being honoured. This is when our awakening really begins and we start to experience the dark night of the soul.
The dark night of the soul is deep, murky process of shadow work. If you aren’t familiar with the term, shadow work is a process of looking at all aspects of ourselves that we don’t like to acknowledge. It’s the part of ourselves that try to come up for reflection and healing but we suppress it.
A bit about my story: I became really depressed in my late teens/early 20s when I started to wake up in 2012. This was the year of a huge shift in consciousness which created a ripple like effect on awakening for many people who were (subconsciously) ready. I questioned EVERYTHING about my reality; who I was, what my purpose was, where am I going, what was the point in anything I was doing, etc etc. I noticed certain people in my life starting to fade, my interests were changing, and I felt like I was losing my identity. I didn’t understand what this was at the time but my journey really didn’t start accelerating until I started processing a break up in the summer of 2014. This experience led me to meeting people who taught me about the law of attraction, I became involved with krishna consciousness (practicing weekly kirtan and Bhagavad Gita readings) and overall could feel myself in deep growth and expansion. Still, at the time I didn’t know exactly what I was going through. My depression was at an all time peak and I couldn’t shake it.
I didn’t even hear about the dark night of the soul until late 2016, when I came across a YouTube video about awakening symptoms. This video and information made so much sense to me and it was like my soul had guided me to this video to finally understand what I had been going through for all these years.
Something to note with the dark night of the soul is that it gets triggered by life experiences that shake our lives up. My dark night was activated in 2012 when I had the best experience of life (at the time) living in London, England studying theatre and travelling through the Middle East. I spent my 21st birthday in Petra, Jordan where I fully believe my spiritual journey was activated. When I returned to go back to my last year of university in a small city in Canada, I couldn’t shake the sadness and doubt I felt about ever returning to that beautiful experience. I knew in that summer, my soul was happy because I honoured it by listening to my intuition; a deeper inner knowing that I had to go that year to experience everything I did.
In 2014, when I went through my break up — this was a huge wake up call from my soul. This was my soul showing me the “shadows” of myself I was overlooking in my relationship. From this, I began to attract people, situations and experiences that allowed me to look at myself at a deeper level, heal and grow from the new seeds I planted.
The beautiful concept about the dark night, is that we subconsciously call in the right people and situations that allow us to process this experience at the level we are ready for. And this is just the thing, we are ALWAYS given exactly what we are ready for. We are never given too much or too little – because Spirit knows just how much we need to process through to the other side, which is brighter, more fun and filled with so much love.
The dark night of the soul is a completely guided and supported process. It’s something the Soul and Spirit provides in order for us to remember who we really are. It’s an ongoing journey – in fact I’m not sure it ever ends, because we are constantly evolving and a rate that’s right for us. There is never an end goal, however as each dark night phase comes and goes, it really does get easier because we begin to LOVE the process of self reflection and healing. When we begin to acknowledge this experience as a supported and loving journey, we process it much easier and faster, allowing healing love to flow through us sooner.
I have a full video up on my YouTube channel which you can watch here that gives you more information on the dark night, what it is and how we can work with it to maintain higher alignment with Source.
I hope these words resonated with you, and if you have any questions about your dark night experience – please send me a message or leave a comment below! I am always available to hold space on your journey.
Love & Blessings,